worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
