im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
