It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
