just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
