i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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