My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
