I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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