oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
