I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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