Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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