I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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