he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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