Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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