hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
