Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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