sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I supernannyed him into submission
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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