In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
