Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize