I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
