She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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