she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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