If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
