how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
