I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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