So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
