the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
