Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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