It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
