Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
