she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
