Welp...herpes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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