Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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