I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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