i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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