How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
