just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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