Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
