evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
