whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
