You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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