He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
