At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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