My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
