On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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