Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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