i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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