One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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