It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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