If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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