what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
