i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
