love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
