thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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