You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
