I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
