True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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