Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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