I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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