Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize