I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
