Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize