I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
