I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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