yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
