Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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