Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
